Today is a sad day for my family. After a long struggle with cancer my cousin Doug died this morning. I cannot help thinking how much life and death coincide with one another. The hardest part for me is not being able to be with my cousin Mica to comfort her during this difficult time. But everyone understands I am doing my part to complete the circle of life.
Now that all the visitors have left I am pretty much in the hurry up and wait mode. On Monday my doctor diagnosed me with a mild case of preeclampsia. While a lot of women get this condition towards the end of their pregnancy, the high blood pressure associated with it makes it a condition worthy of close watch. The only way to cure it is to give birth. The only way to managed preeclampsia is with bed rest. So here I am on bed rest (no worries a film career is not in my future).
Ideally one might think it is a great time to get a lot done, but with so much on my mind, school work and productivity has given way to boredom and a lot of Law and Order (this is less than an exciting TV time to be on bed rest). Every other day I go to the doctor for tests to make sure my condition is not worsening. At one point she was talking about a c-section this Thursday but I will not find out for sure until tomorrow's appointment. I have somewhat mixed feelings about having the girls on Thursday. On one hand I am so big (48cm of belly) that I can barley move, which is good I guess since I am not allowed to go anywhere. And if the girls were born this Thursday (I would be 36 weeks) they would be ok. There is a realistic chance that their small size might buy them some time in the hospital nursery. While their lungs should be developed by now their small size might make it hard for them to feed. So honestly after this long haul I would be grateful to keep them from entering the world for another week or so so we could take them home when we leave ths hospital. But luckily this is not my decision to make. I have the upmost confidence in my doctors and will be sure to keep you updated.